Ta-daa!

First, I told my friend Trish. She was cool with it.

Next, I told my boss Brad. He had already assumed as much.

Then, I...

Well, here...

I had dropped hint after hint to my mom that I was gay. Some were unintentional like the Windex shine of my room as a boy and the belting of show tunes coming from behind my bedroom door as a teen.

As the time got closer to telling her, the clues became (at least to me) a bit more obvious. The show tunes turned to The Village People, I became a bit more fastidious in my grooming and the biggie: I got an apartment and moved out on my own. This was done after my cousin Joe did the same thing to my Aunt Peg. Peg got the hint. Mom didn’t.

One night, I decided to just bite the bullet and tell her. I drove to my old house and sat in Frank’s recliner next to her. He was at work at the fire station for the night. I began to hem and haw and could tell I was detracting her from Jeopardy. I hemmed and hawed some more and asked Mom if she’d like to go out to dinner. This, I know, would be a long shot since she only ate at our own dining room table or in her recliner. Plus, she had filled up on chips and salsa. She said she didn’t want to go.

I squirmed in my chair and decided to go for the fool-proof method of getting her out of the house where I could have her undivided attention.

I said “Let’s go have a beer.” She perked right up.

***

The China Doll Lounge was a dive bar/Chinese restaurant about a mile from the house. Mom and Frank spent lots of time there and I knew this would be well in her comfort zone. I never cared for the place, but throw a plate of bad sweet and sour in front of me and I’m in my comfort zone, too.

We got in my truck and headed west to Redwood Road. The March rain was drizzly and the air was cool. The wipers kept time with the clicking of my brain.

“What’s this?” Mom said as she picked up a flyer from the seat. The flyer in question was left on my windshield in front of The Sun - a local gay bar. “Jim and John’s Country Kitchen? Why, John is the guy who does my hair,” Mom said, unaware just where this was all headed.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” I said.

“Ohhhhh...” Mom said, putting two and two together. “Well, that’s okay. I already knew,” she said and proceeded to ask my if other members of our extended family were gay, as well. I told her no — that I was the only one I knew of —and pulled into The China Doll parking lot.

We sat at a booth and ordered beer and food. Not much more about the “gay thing” was said for a while as I downed my dinner and mom picked through hers.

She finally asked if I was being careful and if I was dating anyone. She also said that we could never tell Frank. Through a mouthful of fried rice she said “So where do you go for fun?” I told her I mostly went to The Sun. She said The Sun used to be the old Kozy Korner and that she and Frank hung out there for years before it became a gay bar.

I said “It’s a pretty fun place. Tuesday Night is Beer Bust. Wanna Go?”

Her eyes lit up like a disco ball. We paid our bill and hopped in my truck.

Not much was said about anything gay on the way there. Apparently, nothing needed to be. She knew and always had known. I didn’t have a lot to add to the story. We were now just two pals headed out for a night on the town.

We got to The Sun and parked near the dumpster. It was still pretty early so the crowds hadn’t yet arrived. We went in, showed our IDs and bellied up to the long, mirrored bar. Bud was on tap for a quarter a glass. A few of my friends walked past and I introduced them. They gave her a big hug. A couple more walked by and did the same thing.

Music was pounding from the dance floor in the next room. Talk Talk started to sing “It’s My Life.” I told mom over the noise that it was one of my favorite songs. She yelled “Let’s go dance!”

We danced some more to Eurythmics and Aretha singing “Sisters are Doing it for Themselves” and, as luck would have it, Bronski Beat’s “Smalltown Boy” was next. I told her that was the song that played as I moved out to my apartment - that it was sort of my theme song. We danced more happily than ever.

All in all, what started out to be an iffy night, turned out to be quite magical. I eventually started to fade and said I had to be to work in the morning. She said “One more beer.” So we did. She said (again) that we could never tell Frank and toasted each other. That was that. We hugged and went home.

The next morning, she told Frank.

He already knew, too.