Mad Scramble.

Back in the day, Denny’s was our hangout of choice after the bars had closed. Butch men from the Deer Hunter, pretty boys from The Sun and even prettier girls from Backstreet would all swig coffee and discuss the nights events over bacon and eggs until 2, 3, 4:00 in the morning. The servers all loved us because we were funny and nice and tipped very well.

One night (or morning) as we sat in the lobby waiting to be seated, two furious older women approached the register hissing to the manager. What they were doing out at one in the morning was anybody’s guess. They said that there were gay people at the table next to them. They were really disgusted and needed to make their objections known. They looked at all of us and raised their eyebrows as if to say “Right?”

So we responded in the only respectable way we knew. We all started making out with each other.

The horror! You’ve never seen pairs of heels run so fast. Unless it was a raid at the Radio City Lounge.